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Everybody could do with a
confidence boost sometimes, so here are a few tips...
[These tips come
from Roger Elliott, who runs courses and a website dedicated to building
self confidence. You can subscribe to his famous free self confidence
course here.]
1)
Feel Good when you Want
For times when you need a
quick boost to your self confidence or self esteem, find 3 things that
make you feel good. These could be memories of good times, a piece of
music, a holiday souvenir, or a person's face - use photos if it helps.
Practise thinking about them and bringing them to mind.
Because of the way emotions
'attach' themselves to memories, you will quickly train yourself to
feel good when you want - a great help in developing self confidence
that lasts.
2)
Beat Self Consciousness
Learn how to keep your attention
off yourself - self consciousness is the No.1 enemy of self confidence.
You can do this easily by following these steps...
a)
If you notice you have become self-conscious, (you can usually tell
because you start to feel anxious), choose something 'everyday' you
can see and study it in detail. For example: examine a door, look at
the different textures and shades of colour, wonder about who made it
and how and so on. The important thing is that you're learning how to
keep your attention off yourself.
b)
If you feel self-conscious in a social situation, it's usually because
you don't have enough to do! Focus on what your purpose in the situation
is. Whether you're there to:
- find out if you like the
other people in the situation
- make others feel comfortable
- find out some information
- make business contacts
- and so on...
It's easy to feel self-conscious
if you have nothing to do, and much more difficult if your attention
is occupied by a task.
Think how comfortable you
have been with others when you're all working toward a common goal.
The common goal of socialising could be making friends, it could be
the exchange of mutually beneficial information, it could be whatever
you want it to be!
3)
Don't Take Undue Criticism - Even From Yourself
!
Challenge
your own assumptions. Here's a few to get you started:
a)
Confident-looking people have bad moments too.
b)
Just because you feel under-confident, doesn't mean other people can
tell.
c)
If you're saying things to yourself like "You're no good at anything"
then rest assured, you're wrong. Everyone can compose a sentence,
get successfully to the store, eat without choking. Don't let yourself
make sweeping statements about yourself - in the long run it is this
sort of thing that can really damage your self image.
Building
self esteem is not just about thinking good of yourself, it's about
not thinking bad for no reason!
d)
Just because you have felt bad about yourself in the past doesn't
mean you're always going to feel that way. I have seen hundreds of
people surprise themselves once they have learned how to build self
confidence in a way that it stays built!
e)
Persevere and don't expect everything at once. Really learn how to
develop your self confidence by following the tips from this site
and the free Self Confidence Course and notice
the small differences as they happen. Beating low self esteem is a
wonderful thing, and it's much easier than you'd imagine.
Thanks for the Course!
"Many
thanks for providing this excellent course for free - it was very
helpful. It has shown be that by putting a small amount of effort
in increasing my self confidence the rewards are great!"
Deepraj Puri, University of Kent, Canterbury, UK.
deepraj_puri@hotmail.com
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