A reader asks:

I do believe that for everyone there is another human with whom one can relate perfectly (let's say a soul mate). Lately I feel, energetically, the presence of a man around me. Is he my soul mate and if he is, is he incarnated and we are going to be together?

Quado, do you have an answer to this question?

Ah, yes, of course, of course.

You would be wise not to place the expectation on someone that they must be perfectly suited for you, that your relationship would be without challenges. For even if you do find someone with whom you are deeply connected and who appears to be walking the same path as you are, at least for a time, that relationship will be full of challenge and opportunity for growth.

What your so-called soul mate will be is someone who can help you walk your path, someone who has some issue to work out which will help you work out your own. Often you will be with someone who either mirrors your own issues or has some of the characteristics which caused your own emotional issues so that you have another opportunity to work on them. So often, people end up with those who strongly resemble the parents with whom they had a difficult relationship, for example

But does this mean they are not a soul mate? It means that, for whatever reason, you have chosen this particular person at this particular time and there is something which is pulling you together, something which you are to work on together. It may be that you are walking the same path at the same time. It may be that this condition exists for many years or it may be that it exists for only a short time.

There are many, many people with whom you might share a life, and many people with whom you might be loving and supportive partners, either for a while or for a lifetime. There are people who can be lovers now and friends later. There are people who can be friends now and possibly allow the relationship to blossom into something different later.

Do not be desperate about your desire to have a lifetime companion. It may work out that way and it may not. And certainly, do not think that there is one person you must meet who will finally fulfill you. It is simply not true. You must fulfill yourself. You must fill yourself with love for yourself and love for life itself, so that an additional person is simply something extra and wonderful on top of a life centered in deep connection with all that is.

If you are seeking someone else as a way to fill your needs, as a way to end loneliness, as a way to overcome a deep ache and hole inside, then you will not be successful. For no one can do this. The flood of new love is so strong that it may seem this way for a time, for falling in love is powerful medicine indeed. But that initial flood of chemicals eventually subsides, and you are left with two people who may or may not be well-suited for a long life together and who have many conflicting demands, desires and needs. And what will make the relationship more or less successful is how well each of these people is centered in who they are, how much they can fulfill their own needs without demanding this from another.

Do not ask that someone else make you happy. Make yourself happy. Happiness is not something in the future that you attain when things are perfect. Things are as perfect as they can possibly be right now, this moment, right here. And you can be happy now, with things exactly as they are, if you will but dip deep into yourself and find your center and then begin to glow from that place. If you will but dip into that vast pool of talent and skill, into that pool of peace and love and joy which resides in your center and is fed from your own soul self, then you can achieve a deep peace which will help you weather whatever comes your way.

So begin there, building up this center of peace through a daily practice of meditation or contemplation and perhaps adding to that a practice of centered physical exercise, such as yoga. Be at peace. Be centered. Be happy.

And then, from this place, open up your exposure to other people. Rather than searching for The One, meet many, many different people. Allow yourself to experience the differences between people. Reach out and allow yourself to love people, to find out what it is like to have an argument and still love someone. Find out what it is like to explore and relate to other people without taking everything personally and without desperately seeking completion of yourself. Find out what it is like to have a variety of friends and lovers and relationships, all bringing you something new and interesting, all expanding and opening up your life rather than closing it down.

And perhaps, as you get out and meet many, many different kinds of people, as you bravely dare to actually experience life and relationships, perhaps you will come across one who is more special than the others, someone for whom you can feel a special bond. And perhaps you will be fortunate enough that they are also ready for this. But then, perhaps not.

Let life flow. Fill it with so much love and experience and joy and just plain fun, that one disappointment does not destroy you. Why should it? You are already whole, you are already complete, you do not need another person to complete you and make you who you are. You are.

And what a joy for some future mate to find you. Here you are, not grasping and needy and empty, looking to be filled, but already full, glowing with life, full of fun and energy, daring to live and experience, daring to try and fail, to put your heart on the line and then go on even when you get rejected. You are willing and able and in fact doing it all. This is the way to live.

You are here to experience life. It takes courage to do this. It takes more courage to just act, to say, �¢â�¬��I think I�¢â�¬â�¢d like to try that�¢â�¬�� and get out and do it, than it does to sit at home and daydream about the perfect love coming your way, someone who will rescue you from yourself, fill your life with love and beauty and, in effect, allow you to escape from yourself.

Love yourself now. Embrace yourself now. Send fear away and fill yourself with courage. Every day, do something you have never done before. Talk to someone new. Try some new adventure. Go to places and events you have never gone to. Find out what your talents are, what you can do easily and what is challenging for you. Find out what it feels like to lay yourself on the line, to commit deeply to something and then fail at it. Find out that you do not die of the experience. Find out that in fact, that very failure lifts you up and makes you stronger and more able to try the next thing.

As for the energy you feel, well, the world is full of energy. Something may come and something may not. Let it be. Let it be. Open up and live your life. Get out of the house and begin to deal with people, not just spirits and imagination and day dreams. You are here to live. Enjoy each moment. Fill it to the brim. Embrace it all, like biting into a ripe peach on a bright summer day. And then, when the storms come, know that the winter will end and that the tree which is now barren will spring forth in blossoms in the spring and again bring forth full ripe fruit in the summer.

This is life. Enjoy it.

*******************************************

Quado is a spiritual entity channeled by Carrie Hart. Carrie is a singer, songwriter, poet, and healer. Quado first spoke to her on November 26, 1995. For more on Quado and on Carrie's work, please her web site at www.carriehart.com, where you can also find meditation CDs, healing services, music and more. To hear samples from the Quado Meditation on Self-Love, go directly to www.carriehart.com/meditations.html.

If you wish to receive a free email subscription of Daily Quado, just send an email with 'Subscribe' as the subject to carriehart@msn.com